“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Paul’s instruction invites intentionality.
Deliberate godly parenting will weave together three powerful strands: God’s word, verbal guidance and a godly example. Whenever the first two are devoid of the third, teaching effectiveness is hamstrung. Any parent uttering, "Do as I say not as I do," invites scorn and criticism.
We never stop teaching. Whether we are engaged in worship on Sunday or interacting with our family behind closed doors on Monday, our example continues to coach. In order to prepare ourselves to train the next generation, we first need to focus on our own growth as a disciple of Jesus of Nazareth. We need to drink in God’s word then live it out.
If I want my children to serve and depend on God, I should value seeking first the kingdom of God and his righteousness when making decisions whether those decision-crossroads be minor or significant.
If I do not want my children to be selfish, I should not demand on getting my way all of the time. Rather, I should model seeking the wellbeing of others.
If I want my children to love, honor and respect my wife (and eventually their future spouse), I need to visibly honor, seek her wellbeing and be united with my wife.
If I want my children to grow into adults who worship God, I should not choose to take them to recreational activities when God’s people are meeting for worship.
If I want my children to be able to perceive trouble approaching, I need to not only talk out loud at home about the devastating effects of evil companions and Satan’s activity in the world, but I need to do my best to make godly and wise decisions.
If I want my children to confess when they are wrong, forgive others and tell the truth even when it is difficult, they need to first see these attributes in me.
The list goes on and on. We never stop teaching. Our example speaks louder than words. Think about your own parents. You know what they truly valued.
Our children learn how to live by watching us. When our lifestyle conforms to God’s word as well as with the verbal guidance we offer, this creates a united cord communicating a clear message God can use in their lives.
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