God is looking for faithfulness

“Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?’” (Matthew 19:3 NIV)

This sounds like something we could hear today. Marriage seems to be a disposable commodity for many people. In the UK it is estimated that 40%-42% of marriages end in divorce. The statistics are similar for the USA and probably for many other Western nations. Almost half of marriages end in divorce. Frequently we see someone who is married suddenly decide, because they are attracted to someone else, that they don’t love their spouse and leave them.

It isn’t very different for Christians. Although those who are defined as ‘practicing Christians’ have a lower divorce rate, it is usually for the same reasons as those who claim no faith. Regular attendance at worship (weekly or more) is associated with a 32% to 52% lower risk of divorce, with the greatest number of divorces being amongst those where only one spouse is religious.

Christians, who want to justify leaving their spouse, often ask similar questions to what the Pharisees asked Jesus. We often hear statements like: “I’m not happy in my marriage – surely God wants me to be happy.” I have even heard one who wanted to leave his wife and family to be with another woman say, “I know its wrong, but God will overlook this for me.” What would Jesus say about those who forget their marriage vows so easily? We actually know what he would say, because he answered the Pharisees’ question.

“‘Haven’t you read,’ he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no-one separate.’” (Matthew 19:4-6)

God’s intention is, and always has been, one man to be married to one woman for life. Sometimes we fail to realise that marriage is more than signatures on a piece of paper. When we take our vows to be together until death parts us it is God who is joining the two together. If God has joined two people together, why would we think that we can then separate them?

Jesus’ answer didn’t satisfy the Pharisees. They then asked him why, under the Law of Moses, that there was a provision for divorce.

“Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.  I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.’” (Matthew 19:8-9)

Jesus restored marriage back to what it had been in the beginning. God wants people who are faithful to their vows, to the covenant they are making, to be faithful to their spouse and, ultimately, faithful to him. Marriage isn’t to be taken lightly. We aren’t to change our spouse just because we get tired of them or allow ourself to be attracted to someone else. They only reason Jesus gave for divorce is sexual immorality. 

When he said that someone who divorces their spouse and marries another commits adultery Jesus was saying that God is not governed by our wants and desires, that God does not recognise divorce if it isn’t because of unfaithfulness to your spouse. No wonder Jesus’ disciples responded as they did!

“The disciples said to him, ‘If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.’ (Matthew 19:10)

For someone with a low view of marriage, that it is something that can be thrown away at a whim, this might seem the logical conclusion. But God is looking for people who are different – who live faithful lives. No wonder faithfulness in marriage is necessary if someone is to be a leader of God’s people (Titus 1:6)!

Image by Jon Galloway using ChatGPT

Readings for next week: Matthew 18-22