Forthright Magazine

The pain and process of shattered dreams

I have a love-hate relationship with psychology. I loved Dr. Richard Cave, teacher of the subject in college and former missionary to Belo Horizonte, Brazil. He and his were probably my first introduction to the subject. And over the years I have benefited greatly from not a few books by a wide range of psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists, such as Adams, Beck, Burns, Dobson, Faulkner, Harley, Osborne, Powell, Seligman, Smalley, Terhune, Viorst, and a host of others. Back in the day, I read a lot of them.

One of that number was Larry Crabb.

I found Crabb’s book, Shattered Dreams, on sale, years ago, for half price. The title sounded intriguing, since I’ve had my share of those. And the author I knew, so I bought it. I started reading the book a couple of times, maybe. This time I’m determined to finish it. I’m about a fourth of the way through.

One reason, perhaps, I didn’t finish the book earlier was because the author tends to fictionalize the account of Naomi. At times, he seems to go beyond the evidence. His approach is good, but he lathers up the soap a bit too much for me.

But this time I’m determined to see it through. His premise, that shattered dreams help us dream the highest dream and discover our desire for God, holds promise for me.

Here are some interesting quotes so far; just remember his denominational context:

  • We have our own ideas about what a good God should do in the middle of our circumstances, …
  • Pain … is always a necessary mile on the long journey to joy.
  • The future is always available.
  • We are not defined by the things we suffer.
  • God’s best is available only to those who sacrifice, or are willing to sacrifice, the merely good.
  • Happiness must be stripped away, forcibly, before joy can surface, …
  • Naomi … openly admitted her bitterness and depression as present realities. We’re more inclined to report a past struggle, a formerly troubled heart that has now been quieted by God’s peace.
  • The Christian community is often a dangerous place to be when your dreams shatter.
  • The Western church has become a community of either the victorious or the acceptably broken. … With each other we’re more proper than real, more appropriate than alive.

It’s popular to cite Paul’s statement about sufficient grace and strength in weakness. How often, though, do we actually show the weakness, as the apostle did in 2 Corinthians? Or do we hide the process and frustrate the purpose of God? Are we walking alone, stepping silently on the shards of our dreams?

Perhaps more importantly, for a people who have it together doctrinally, do we respect the process of growth, discovery, and soul development as we age and move toward the door of eternity? Do we acknowledge the journey of faith within the walls of truth? Is there space where the struggle is accepted, welcomed, and safeguarded?

Some of us may soon find out.


 

J. Randal Matheny
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