by Richard Mansel, manaaging editor
Thomas and Maggie sat in marriage counseling. Maggie dabbed at her swollen eyes as she cried about Thomas’ refusal to be affectionate to his wife of 32 years.
The counselor asked Thomas why he was cold towards her.
“That’s silly stuff. I won’t do it.”
“Maggie, did Thomas kiss you when you were dating?”
“All the time! I had to fight him off. Thomas even kissed me on our first date.”
“Did he hold your hand?”
Maggie smiled. “Absolutely! He was so romantic, bringing me flowers and candy.”
“Thomas, what changed?”
Thomas frowned. “Isn’t it obvious? I was a kid then. Look at me now!”
“Thomas, do you still love her?”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“This is stupid. I’m leaving.”
Thomas slammed the door and Maggie was crushed.
A year later, the counselor saw Thomas in the park holding hands and kissing a new woman. Clearly, he had forgotten he was too old for affection.
A marriage without affection is like being frozen. We must be connected intimately with our spouse. Skin hunger is a very real thing.
Living without that connectivity leaves us empty. We cannot be one flesh with another person without affection. Being married roommates is desperately sad.
God commands us to be intimate. We are to be one in every way with our spouse (Genesis 2:18-25Genesis 2:18-25
English: World English Bible - WEB
18 Yahweh God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” 19 Out of the ground Yahweh God formed every animal of the field, and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. Whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every animal of the field; but for man there was not found a helper suitable for him. 21 Yahweh God caused a deep sleep to fall on the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 He made the rib, which Yahweh God had taken from the man, into a woman, and brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She will be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh. 25 They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
WP-Bible plugin). Solomon begins his ode to passion in marriage, with the Shulamite woman saying, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth” (Song of Solomon 1:2).
We must never let the passion die in our marriage. Marital love cannot breathe without affection. Our bodies are not ours and we must be fully engaged with our partner (1 Corinthians 7:1-51 Corinthians 7:1-5
English: World English Bible - WEB
7 1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote to me: it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife. 5 Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Start today with a touch, a hug and a kiss and rediscover what you have lost!