Learning to encourage

When life collapses around us we need those who are close to us to be an encouragement for us. Job had three friends who came to him to do just that.

“When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathise with him and comfort him.” (Job 2:11 NIV)

Although they were there to sympathise and comfort him, when they began to speak it was to accuse him of not being faithful to God. Listen as Bildad begins to berate Job.

“How long will you say such things? Your words are a blustering wind. Does God pervert justice? Does the Almighty pervert what is right? When your children sinned against him, he gave them over to the penalty of their sin.” (Job 8:2-4)

Bear in mind that Job was in severe pain, “with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head” (Job 2:7). As a result, what he said was influenced by his pain. He had just told his friends that his life was miserable and he had no hope that he would ever be happy again. He despised his life and could not see that there was any reason to continue to live. He asked God, “If I have sinned, what have I done to you, you who see everything we do? Why have you made me your target? Have I become a burden to you?” (Job 7:20).

When someone is in severe pain life does seem hopeless because of their pain seems to be never-ending. We try to give them sympathy and encouragement. I get the impression that Bildad had never been around anyone in so much pain. Notice the first words out of his mouth: “don’t talk like that! What you are saying is just hot air!” That didn’t offer Job any comfort!

Some of what Job’s friends told him was accurate. God doesn’t pervert justice – he is a God of justice. God doesn’t pervert what is right – he is righteousness personified. That is all true. But notice Bildad’s application – he basically said that Job’s children died because they sinned against God. If you want to comfort someone who has lost all his children in a disaster, this is not the way to go about doing it!

He then gave Job his advice on how to get rid of the pain:

“But if you will seek God earnestly and plead with the Almighty, if you are pure and upright, even now he will rouse himself on your behalf and restore you to your prosperous state. Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be.” (Job 8:5-7)

Bildad saw the pain and calamity that Job was going through as punishment from God for being unfaithful. His advice: seek God, change your life, and God would restore his wealth. In fact, he said, Job would be amazed at what God would do for him!

What was the problem with this advice? Because we know why all this happened to Job we know that Bildad’s advice totally missed the mark. Job wasn’t suffering because of something he had done – God allowed Satan to do this because Job was so faithful!

When we are trying to comfort people, be sure to listen to them and not presume to know all that is going on. Why do people experience pain and suffering? The bottom line is that we may not know. But we can encourage them and be there for them when they are struggling.

Sometimes when we are suffering we may think that it is because of something we have done – that God is punishing us. Have we ever considered that we may be suffering because God is allowing Satan to test us because we are faithful?

We need to always remember that God loves us and is working for our good.

Image created by Apple’s ImagePlayground by Jon Galloway.

Readings for next week: Job 6-13