Just as a thunderous wave can lift and toss driftwood, so too the exhilaration of being in love can overwhelm us. And just as swimmers might be enticed into the surf or into a tide’s ebb and ļ¬ow which they cannot control, so too the feelings of romantic love beckon us to wear rosy tinted glasses and to allow our emotions to take us where they will.
Whether we want to admit it or not, while we certainly remain in control of our decisions, quite likely our hearts will be like a rudderless cork tossed to and fro by the moment’s whim. Why? The feelings of romantic love derive their strength from our perception of what’s happening. However since these situations remain beyond our control, anotherās crude, hurtful or selfish demands can instantly shatter the enchantment. In spite of an iron will commanding those wondrous feelings to return, the warmth is gone. We are not in control of romantic love.
However, we can command another form of love. We determine whether this love will breathe its existence into our actions and words.
This is the love that God exuded toward us when he sent Christ to the cross. This is the love that determines to seek the wellbeing of even an enemy and then act upon that decision. This is agape.
Agape is the kind of love Jesusā disciples are commanded to exhibit toward all. Agape is to be the motivation for how a Christian husband treats his wife. Agape is to be the driving force shaping how Godās people behave.
Agape is reliable because it can exist independent of the circumstances. Agape is a matter of our will.
We can never be in control of any form of love which is dependent upon situational forces lying beyond our control. Such is the ļ¬ckle nature of the feelings of friendship and romantic love.
However, we can be in control of that type of love that determines to do good to others in spite of opposition or what our circumstances might be. Furthermore, this agape kind of love has some beautiful side effects. Often it can contribute toward the type of circumstances enabling other forms of love to thrive.
Since Jesus walked a blood-stained path to the cross for us, how appropriate for him to tell his disciples, āBy this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love (agape) for one anotherā (John 13:35; 14:23).
- Distinguishing Genuine From Imposters - 2026-08-05
- In Control of Love - 2026-07-29
- Nature’s Battery - 2026-07-22