Category Archives: Tongue

Tongue

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lombardiJERRY KRAMER, AN offensive lineman for the Green Bay Packers, played on championship teams for legendary coach Vince Lombardi…
Kramer recalled the following story from his days of playing for Lombardi:
“One day during the first year I play for him, he rode me unmercifully, pointing out how slow I was, how weak I was, how stupid I was. He convinced me. By the time I dragged myself into the locker room, I suspected I was the worst guard in league history. I sat in front of my locker, head down, contemplating quitting, when Lombardi came up behind me, messed up my hair and said, ‘Son, one of these days you’re going to be the greatest guard in the league.’ Suddenly I was 10 feet tall, ready to do anything for him.”
THOUGHT: In a simple way, Kramer’s story reveals the gerat power of the tongue. It can kill or make alive. Wade L. Webster, “Riches From My Reading” – The Power of the Tongue, The Searcher, Southaven church of Christ, May 29, 2011
KneEmail: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18.21
Bible reading for 06.14.11: Acts 1; Ezra 9, 10
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Backbiting

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bearTHE TERM BACKBITE comes from the popular sport of bearbaiting in Medival Europe…
In the sport of bearbaiting, a bear was chained to a post and a few dogs were released at a time to attack the bear for the entertainment of the crowd. Sometimes, in the contest, one of the dogs would slip behind the bear and attack him from the rear. Althought good sportsmanship outlawed biting from behind, it was common in such contests.
Over time, the expression came to refer to anyone taking an unfair advantage, such as speaking ill of a person behind his back.
As you know, the Bible condemns backbiting. Wade L. Webster, “Backbiting,” Riches From My Reading, The Searcher, May 29, 2011
KneEmail: “Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy; the one who has a haughty look and a proud heart, him I will not endure.” Psalm 101:5
Bible reading for 06.09.11: John 18.19-40; 2 Chronicles 32, 33
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Help

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grieving.jpgWHAT CAN WE do to help those who hurt…?
And who can help us when we suffer?
I begin with some discouraging good news. The discouraging aspect is that I cannot give you a magic formula. There is nothing much you can say to help suffering people. Some of the brightest minds in history have explored every angle of the problem of pain, asking why people hurt, yet still we find ourselves stammering out the same questions, unrelieved.
…Not even God attempted an explanation of cause or a rationale for suffering in his reply to Job. The great king David, the righteous man Job, and finally even the Son of God reacted to pain much the same as we do. They recoiled from it, thought it horrible, did they best to alleviate it, and finally cried out to God in despair because of it. Personally, I find it discouraging that we can come up with no final, satisfying answer for people in pain.
And yet viewed another way that nonanswer is surprisingly good news. When I have asked suffering people, “Who helped you?” not one person has mentioned a Ph.D. from Yale Divinity School or a famous philosopher. The kingdom of suffering is a democracy, and we all stand in it or alongside it with nothing but our naked humanity. All of us have the same capacity to help, and that is good news.
No one can package or bottle “the appropriate response to suffering.” And words intended for everyone will almost always prove worthless for one individual person. If you go to the sufferers themselves and ask for helpful words, you may find discord. Some recall a friend who cheerily helped distract them from the illness, while others think such an approach insulting. Some want honest, straightforward confrontation; others find such discussion unbearably depressing.
In short, there is no magic cure for a person in pain. Mainly, such a person needs love, for love instinctively detects what is needed. Jean Vanier says it well: “Wounded people who have been broken by suffering and sickness ask for only one thing: a heart that loves and commits itself to them, a heart full of hope for them.” Philip Yancey, “Frontiers of Recovery,” Where Is God When It Hurts?, 167-168
KneEmail: “How then can you comfort me with empty words, since falsehood remains in your answers?” Job 21.34
Bible reading for 06.08.11: John 18.1-18; 2 Chronicles 30, 31
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Critics

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critics.jpgIT’S A FACT that “hurt people hurt people…”
They usually dislike themselves and criticize others in a misguided effort to validate themselves. If one of these injured souls lobs a criticism grenade in your direction, defuse it with understanding. Part of considering the source is seeking awareness of what that person may be going through.
One time I was praying during worship, a few moments before preaching. Eyes closed, focusing on God, I felt someone slip a note into my hand. I never saw who it was, bu tthe note was marked “Personal.” I thought to myself, “Someone probably wrote a nice note to encourage me before I preach.” A warm, loving feeling settled over me as I undfolded the paper.
A moment later, I lost that loving feeling.
Evidently, the note was from a woman who had tried to see me on Friday, my day off. She took offense at my absence and blasted me with hateful accusations. This happened literally seconds before I was to stand up to preach. In that moment, I had a choice. I could internalize the offense and become demoralized and discouraged. Or I could ask myself, I wonder what she’s experiencing that caused her to lash out?
I chose compassion over depression. My heart hurt for her. I knew that such a disproportionate reaction must indicate deep pain, so I didn’t take her note personally.
Consider the source. And consider the possibility that the jab may have come from an injured heart. Dismiss it and move on. If you don’t, you may become the very thing you despise. Craig Groeschel, Confessions of a Pastor: Adventures in Dropping the Pose and Getting Real with God, 106
KneEmail: “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.” Proverbs 19.11
Bible reading for 05.10.11: John 1.29-51; 2 Kings 10-12
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Toxic

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burger.jpg SUPPOSE A GROCER takes inventory of his store…
Buried in the bottom of his meat section he finds five packages of overripe hamburger. They have somehow sat there for two weeks, turning green.
What should the grocer do with this rotting meat? No one could argue the answer. He should get rid of it immediately! Furthermore, he should make certain that he never again neglects his meat section. He may have a beautiful store stocked with gorgeous produce, but rotten meat will spoil his business. Any customer who spots that greening goop will want to walk out of the store and never return.
It’s the same with talk. Less than one percent of a person’s word inventory can ruin the effect of all the rest. I’ve known people whose words could charm a snake out of its hole, people who are gracious in ninety-nine percent of what they say. But there is a toxic streak in their words that spoils the rest.
…Almost everybody can recall words that stung, words that crushed the spirit, words that left them feeling hopeless and desolate for days. How many people remember being told as children that they were stupid? How many people remember being told as adults that they were overweight? That it is their fault their children have problems?
It’s amazing how often people remember having such words said to them, and yet how seldom people remember saying such words to others. We usually don’t mean to hurt people. The words just pop out without our planning. We forget them. But those who hear them don’t.
Sometimes words have to hurt. When you confront real problems, you must face painful realities. That’s far different, however, from toxic talk. Toxic talk doesn’t lead to dialogue–it stops it. Toxic talk is usually spoken in haste or in anger. The poison lingers on long after the emotions are gone.
The first task is to identify the toxic words in your speech and get rid of them. Tim Stafford, “Toxic Talk: Harsh Words and Lies,” That’s Not What I Meant!, 40-41
KneEmail: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
Bible reading for 06.25.10: Acts 7:44-60; Job 3-4
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Echo

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thirst.jpg THE GOSPEL WRITERS devoted an average of 25% of their writings to the last weeks of Christ’s life on this earth — from the triumphant entry into Jerusalem to His ascension…
More than half of John’s account is dedicated to Jesus’ last days here on earth. Three of the gospel writers recorded the scene of the Last Supper and then promptly skipped to other things. But John chose to write about what Jesus had to say, instead of what he did. Why such an interest in such a short period of the Lord’s life? Perhaps it was because the author fully understood the importance of passing down the “echos of the cross,” for he knew that such words of wisdom would transform our lives in ways that we once thought impossible. The echos of the cross — the last thoughts of this Man, Jesus Christ — can give us hope — and transform our crosses into mere splinters. Michael Whitworth in Splinters of the Cross, 39
KneEmail: “After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, said, ‘I thirst!’” John 19:28
Bible reading for 05.14.10: John 4:1-30; 2 Kings 19-21
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Lie

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liar.jpgA STORE MANAGER heard his clerk tell a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for a while, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon…”
Horrified, the manager came running over to the customer and said, “Of course we’ll have some soon! We place an order last week.” Then the manager drew the clerk aside. “Never,” he snarled, “Never, never, never, say we’re out of anything; say we’ve got it on order and it’s coming. Now, what was it she wanted anyway?”
The clerk said, “Rain…”
KneEmail: “Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are His delight.” Proverbs 12:22
Bible reading for 01.06.10: Matthew 6:1-18; Genesis 18, 19
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Exhortation

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ship.jpgWHEN SIR ERNEST Shackleton set out to sea in 1914, he did so with the ambitious goal of making the first land crossing of Antarctica…
But his ship, the Endurance, never even reached its base camp. It became stuck in the icy waters for months and eventually sank. Shackleton and his twenty-seven-member crew were stranded more than twelve hundred miles from civilization, drifting on ice floes in the terrifying cold with just three rickety lifeboats, a few tents, and limited provisions.
Eventually, they reached a small island and waited while Shackleton and a handful of men took one of the lifeboats eight hundred miles over tumultuous seas to a whaling station. Shackleton returned with a rescue ship, and every man survived the eighteen-month ordeal.
How did he keep the hopes of his men from fizzling out…?
First, he modeled optimism. Shackleton, who once described optimism as “true moral courage,” always believed he and his crew would survive, and his optimism was contagious. He communicated that optimism to everyone around him.
Second, he nurtured his men’s sense of significance. He kept everyone involved by seeking their opinions and by giving them tasks that made them feel like they were part of the solution.
Third, he encouraged them with humor and promoted a lighthearted atmosphere. Shackleton recognized that under extreme pressure, the ability to lighten the mood neutralizes fear and enables a team to focus, reenergize, and prevail over daunting obstacles. People might find it strange that one of the few items that Shackleton rescued from the sinking ship was a crewman’s banjo. He did it so the group could have music.
It was Napoleon who said that a leader is a dealer in hope, and Shackleton was a prime example of how one person can keep hope alive.
THOUGHT: If you know someone who is in the middle of a difficult trial–a long illness or a period of financial strain–your words of kindness and love, your confidence in them, your ability to lighten their load can bring hope and encouragement to their lives. (John Maxwell)
KneEmail: “He who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.” Romans 12:8
Bible reading for 08.10.09: Romans 11:1-18; Psalms 81-83
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Cussing

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anocuss.jpgOFTENTIMES WE ASSOCIATE late-night TV shows, such as the Tonight Show, with celebrities…
However, on January 21, 2009, Jay Leno interviewed an unusual guest: 15-year-old McKay Hatch. In 2007, Hatch founded his first No Cussing Club at his junior high school in South Pasadena, California.
According to McKay’s website, www.nocussing.com, the teen was dismayed at the language many of the children at his school, including some of his friends, were using. Rather than just put up with it, as so many of us are prone to do, he decided to do something about it. He mentioned it to his friends and actually challenged them to stop cussing.
He says his friends were shocked; most of them didn’t even realize they were using offensive language, and certainly had no idea it was bothersome to Hatch. Surprisingly, and very pleasantly so, they accepted his challenge to stop swearing, and thus was born the first No Cussing Club. The word spread and after one month the club had 50 members. When McKay got into high school, he founded a similar club, and had over 100 students join immediately. The word has further spread until today there are over 20,000 members in 25 countries.
Club members take the “No Cussing Challenge,” committing to use better language. However, this is not just a “negative” challenge., to not use bad language, but a “positive” challenge as well, to use “polite, respectful, and kind language.”
Further, the club’s motto is, “Leave people better than you found them.” This concept has impacted not only the recipients of the kind language, but the speakers as well: McKay relates that many club members have noticed a change in their own lives from using positive language. And the concept has progressed to the club members “looking for opportunities everyday to help people and lift them up through their words and actions.” (Liana Stanley)
KneEmail: “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

Few

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abw2.jpgTHE PRIMARY PURPOSE for controlling our speech is to prevent harm…
But controlling our words also has personal advantages for us. The main advantage is that people will respect us.
Just think of how you react differently to a person who goes on and on and talks in circles and one who chooses her words carefully and is succinct. How much respect do you have for the fast-talking used-car salesman, the wisecracking comedian, the politician who speaks out of both sides of his mouth or even the revivalist who enchants crowds with volume and energy? We put people of many words in the category marked “con artists.” Now, consider people whom you genuinely respect–perhaps a teacher, a counselor, a grandparent. Aren’t they people who speak carefully, using well-chosen words? We put people of few words in the category marked “wise.” (William R. Baker)
KneEmail: “The fool multiplies words.”Ecclesiastes 10:14; cf. 10:10; 6:11; Prov. 17:28).