Category Archives: Guilt

Dentist

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“OPEN WIDER,” requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient…
“Oh, no!” he said. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen — the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen.”
“OK Doc!” replied the patient. “I’m scared enough without you saying something like that twice.”
“I didn’t!” said the dentist. “That was the echo…”
I did something this past week that I never look forward to doing – I went to the dentist. Fortunately, it wasn’t anything traumatic, just a routine cleaning of the teeth. But it reminded me of something I have long believed – that going to the dentist relates to what we’re doing as a church (and specifically, what I’m doing as a preacher). Allow me to explain.
Like many people, I don’t enjoy going to the dentist and I tend to put it off a lot longer than I ought to. It’s not primarily because of the cost (although that’s certainly a factor). And while some people are afraid to go to the dentist, fearing possible pain, that’s never been a problem for me. I don’t mind the sound of the drill, or the poking and the prodding in my mouth. No, the reason I dread going to the dentist has to do with guilt.
You see, I don’t floss as often as I ought to. I know it’s important, but I have always found flossing to be a difficult habit for me to keep up. And whenever I go to the dentist, I know what he’s going to say – “You’re not flossing. Don’t you know how important flossing is? You need to floss!” And I want to say (but don’t), “Yes, I know. I’m guilty! I knew I was guilty before I walked in here. I don’t need you telling what a terrible person I am!”
I understand the position the dentist is in. He wants what is best for my health. If I’m doing something that is not beneficial to my teeth, he has a responsibility to tell me. I don’t want him to stop caring about me. But because of my guilt, I don’t want to hear it, so my response is to simply avoid going to see him.
I wonder how many people there are who approach the church in the same way. They know they’re not living right and when they go to worship, they know what they’re going to hear from the preacher — “You’re not living right. You need to change your life! This is the way you ought to live!” Their response is to say (or to think), “Yes, I know. I’m guilty! I knew I was guilty before I walked in here. I don’t need you telling what a terrible person I am!”
I’m in a situation similar to that of my dentist. I have a responsibility to talk about sin because I care about the spiritual well-being of others. We can’t ignore sin just because talking about it makes people uncomfortable. But if people already feel a burden of guilt and they don’t want to hear about it, they simply stop coming to worship.
As I was considering the awkward position my dentist was in (“Do I say something and make my patient feel more guilty or not say something and show that I don’t care?”), his dental assistant found the perfect words. She said to me, “As you know, you need to floss more. I understand, I have a hard time with it myself.”
Suddenly, I felt at ease. Here was someone who cared enough to tell me what I needed to hear, but who wasn’t looking down at me, criticizing me, and “beating me up”. Instead, we were on the same level, facing the same problem together. All it took was her saying, “I understand what you’re going through. I struggle with that, too.”
What a difference it would make if we could all simply acknowledge to one another, “You’re not doing what’s right, but I understand because I struggle, too.” What a difference it would make if the world could see us, not as a bunch of people looking down on them, criticizing them and “beating them up”, but as a group of people who share in their struggles and who truly desire to help one another to live holier lives.
KneEmail: “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in a trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness…” (Galatians 6:1)
(And in case you’re wondering, yes, I did floss this morning!) Alan Smith
Bible reading for 07.08.11: Acts 15.22-41; Job 36-37
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Parent

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s KneEmail comes from the National Review Online. Please pay special attention to the last three paragraphs. — mb

AS SOON AS the jury proclaimed Casey Anthony “not guilty,” her parents, George and Cindy Anthony, stood up, blank-faced, and walked out of the courtroom.
It was one of the few times since the trial began that the Anthonys did something I could relate to.
Just a few days earlier, Cindy Anthony attempted to convince jurors that she was the person who Google-searched “chloroform” on her home computer. When the searches were determined to have occurred during the time she was clocked in at work and logged into the company computer, she maintained her unlikely story, an obvious attempt to exonerate her daughter.
If Casey’s parents loved her enough to lie for her, there’s also no doubt that they adored their beautiful granddaughter, Caylee. Like so many other grandparents these days, they were the realparents to that little girl, providing the love and stability that their immature, partying, and selfish adult daughter wouldn’t. Casey Anthony didn’t have a job and she and Caylee lived with them — until Caylee disappeared and Casey moved in with her new boyfriend and his roommates. The Anthonys decorated their granddaughter’s room and filled their home and backyard with toys for her, including a playhouse that George Anthony built a floor onto so Caylee wouldn’t have to sit on the ground.
Like the Anthonys, my parents adore their grandkids. Like Mr. Anthony, my daddy lovingly tiled the bottom of the outdoor playhouse at their house for their grandkids. The difference between my parents and the Anthonys is that I can guarantee that if I had anything to do with the disappearance of one of my kids, or if I was lying or withholding information about my child’s whereabouts to the cops, as Casey clearly did and was found guilty of today, my parents would not be trying to help me get away with it. I am absolutely certain that they would be fully cooperating with law enforcement on behalf of their innocent grandchild.
The Casey Anthony verdict didn’t deliver justice for little Caylee. But it did give America some insight into the kind of family dysfunction and parental enabling that produces a mother like Casey: one who could move in with her boyfriend, enter a bikini contest, and get a “Bella Vita” tattoo during the time her little girl’s body was decomposing in a swamp near the family home.
Perhaps the most poignant moment in the trial was when the prosecutor described the way a different mother grieved the loss of her child in an accidental drowning. Sometime after the child was buried, a big storm came. That mother ran out to her child’s gravestone to be with her because, she said, her little girl had never been alone in a storm before. That’s how someone deserving of the title “mother” grieves. Sadly, Casey will never get enough time in prison to reflect on such things. Rachel Campos-Duffy at http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/271149/injustice-rachel-campos-duffy#.ThWzgLQAT8s.facebook
KneEmail: “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventers of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.” Romans 1:28-32
Bible reading for 07.07.11: Acts 15.1-21; Job 34-35
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“F”

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alipstick.jpg DURING THE ATTACK on Pearl Harbor, nurses ran out of marker and so they used their own lipstick write to write on the foreheads of wounded patients…
“M” meant a sailor had received morphine.
“C” meant he was in critical condition.
“F” meant he was fatally wounded.
THOUGHT: Imagine nearly all of the people you meet in your daily walk has a letter “F” on their forehead. They are fatally wounded by sin (Romans 3:10, 23; 6:23 and its effects. Will you simply stand by and watch them perish, or will you offer them the ONLY life-giving, soul-saving, cure (1 Corinthians 15:1-4)?
KneEmail: “Let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.” James 5:20; cf. Jude 23
Bible reading for 04.12.10: Luke 11:29-54; 1 Samuel 19-21
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Lust

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apa.jpg
DURING WORLD WAR II, Nazi Germany dropped pornographic pamphlets from the sky over enemy territory…
The reason; to distract the soldiers minds with fascinations causing them to ignore the front line. This has been the strategy of porn from its inception; while we fight the diversionary tactic of pornography, the enemy rolls in behind our backs and destroys our homes.
Imagine conquering an entire nation in less than sixty years by simply planting destructive seed in the minds of a few men and watching it spread to the masses. That is what Satan did through the likes of Hugh Heffner and Bob Guccione in the 50s when Playboy and Penthouse became nationally distributred magazines. Over the years, images of undressed women and men engaged in illicit activity have jumped from the pages of embarrassed to purchase magazines to the privacy of our own personal computer screens. Today, US porn revenue exceeds the revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC combined and contrary to its previous consumer group of mostly adult males; its largest demography today is 12 – 17 year old males and females.
Jesus knew that something as small as gazing at the bait would lead to total entrapment. Paul Kendall
KneEmail: “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28
Bible reading for 02.17.10: Mark 1:1-22; Leviticus 23, 24
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Walls

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walls.jpgWE ALL HAVE walls…
Not the stone, concrete, or wooden ones that typically surround properties, but emotional ones. Ther are parts of our lives that we keep walled off from other people. The closer we are to someone, the fewer walls there are, the more self-disclosure we allow. But even with those with whom we are the very closest, perhaps our spouse and/or very dearest friend a wll or two remains in place. The walls are there to keep us from hurting. Maybe what we are keeping to ourselves is something we’re afraid will cause the other person to think less of us or even reject us. A wall is in place to protect us from that kind of hurt. Believe it or not, we likely even have walls when it comes to our relationship with God. Really.
The candid request of our text is remarkable. It is full disclosure. No walls. My heart, my anxious thoughts, my actions are all open to scrutiny. Something has to be understood here, though. This isn’t actually an invitation to all God to do something He was not otherwise able to do. Notice verses 1-12. God already knows everything there is to know about me. He knows me better than I know myself. No, this invitation is in reality an acknowledgment, an admission on my part of what is already a reality. God knows my heart. He knows my anxious thoughts, He knows not only what I do, but why I do it. The only thing that is left is for me to acknowledge what God already knows, own up to it, and allow God’s will and purpose to change and shape me even to my innermost being.
Walls separate; bridges unite. We already have a big enough problem of separation from God caused by sin. He provided a bridge in His Son. We need to be rid of the walls that only further separate. With God we must have no walls, only a bridge. David Deffenbaugh; Bill McFarland
KneEmail: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
Bible reading for 12.08.09: 2 John; Daniel 8 – 10
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Guilt

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astones.jpgTHE STORY IS told of a little boy who was helping his father move stones out of a ditch…
“Dad, here’s a big one’, he said. ‘I’ve done my best, but I can’t budge it.’ The father replied, ‘Son, you have never, never done your best until you have asked your father to help you.’” That story well illustrates a real problem many of us experience. We try to grapple with guilt without going to our heavenly Father for help. Gary Hampton
KneEmail: “I acknowledge my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.” Psalm 32:5
Bible reading for 10.28.09: 2 Timothy 2; Jeremiah 12-14
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