SOME OF US who don’t like confrontation at all have a tendency to try to smooth conflict over before we’ve gotten to the root of it…
Affirmation doesn’t mean starting off with a list of compliments. Maybe you’ve had a friend launch into a long catalog of your “good points,” with the uncomfortable sense that you know what’s coming. You’re being fattened for the kill. This approach actually makes you feel wary and ready to defend yourself.
Rather, you should begin by underscoring these two things: your commitment to the individual and to the relationship; your eagerness to listen to their viewpoint. This will affirm your friend’s value at a much deeper level than a listing of favors they’ve done or characteristics that you like about them. (Beverly Caruso)
KneEmail: “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother” (Matt. 18:15).