Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda – The game our hearts play

Eleven new daylilies. That’s what came home with me when I went to a friend’s garden to pick up one or two, maybe three.

In the hurry to put them into the ground in my own garden, quick decisions had to be made before the plants became stressed for lack of water and nourishment.

The prettiest one of them ended up between the garage and a large stand of rather tall cannas and a crape myrtle.

Why would I put them there? Well, the bed by the garage had been prepped two years ago for a row of purple daylilies that were going to be moved from another spot. As is usually the case, life happened, and the task was never accomplished.

I could have put them in a sunnier spot. I should have made a detailed garden map, and kept to the plan. I should have had a better spot prepared before I brought home eleven plants. I would have put them in a better place if I had taken more time to think about what I was doing.

What I hadn’t realized was that this bed had become far shadier than it had been when the planning was done four years ago. Yes, sometimes it takes that long for a plan to come together!

And just like “life happens,” trees and shrubs happen. Shade happens as trees grow larger. Bugs, floods, and droughts happen. No plan has ever come together perfectly, whether in the garden or in our daily walk with God.

We often second-guess our decisions in life. This is understandable, as we contemplate how to live closer to God’s ideal.

Our family is going through some dark days, and praying for wisdom. Not daily, but hourly! And looking back, I often wonder if we handled things correctly. I use the word “wonder,” but probably should admit that “worry” or “fret” or even “agonize” would fit better!

This morning I read some thoughts written by a friend who is caring for his wife suffering from dementia. He wondered if he should have given her a detailed answer to her 2:00 a.m. question about how she came to be in a wheelchair.

I wanted to tell him that he has been in prayer for wisdom and for God’s help in giving his beloved wife the best care possible, but then I had a “Nathan” moment. You know the type…when you realize you are the very person in the example! David’s judgment was clear and easy only because Nathan the prophet put it to him in a story about someone else.

Prayers for wisdom are answered! This didn’t hit home until I could see it outside my own experiences.

This is not to say that everything out of my mouth or through my keyboard has been as perfect and inspired as if they were scriptures. Not even close.

But if we believe the God who cannot lie, we must trust that he will give us wisdom when we ask.

Regrets? They will happen as surely as the weather changes, or vegetation grows while we aren’t looking.

But we cannot be tricked into playing the “Coulda Shoulda Woulda” game.

As it turns out, the planting site I hurriedly chose was probably a great temporary home for this beautiful daylily with the large, dark eye. The shade affords it the shelter from the harsh sunlight just as the sun was reaching the summer solstice.

We don’t have yesterday anymore. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. We have today! May God be with us, today.

One Reply to “Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda – The game our hearts play”

  1. Good thoughts. God is able to see ahead and our plans sometimes seem to be falling apart when God is just letting them settle where he thinks best. Trusting Him for peace in our hearts and minds.

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