Unworthy

One of the hardest verses for me to read is Luke 22:61.

And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” (NKJV)

Only moments before, Peter was boldly proclaiming that he would follow Jesus anywhere even if it meant to prison or death. However, life had gotten in the way of that grand claim.

That verse always comes to mind when I catch myself wanting the praise of people more than God. He watches when I fail to love like I should or forgive when I should. He sees when I spend too much time and thought on things that don’t matter.

But even though there are times when I find shame and disappointment in that short verse, I also take comfort at his closeness. The son of God knows me better than I know myself.

He knows how I’ll react to any given situation because he has been with me from my beginning. He was in that small Illinois hospital. He saw the first smile, heard that first giggle, and witnessed my first steps.

He cares for me, a woman still trying to figure out life and understand Scripture and him, a Savior responsible for both. I’m weak and sinful. He’s perfect and spotless. Too often, I fail at dying to self and stumble in front of the one who was dead, but rose from the grave.

I’m a mess. He’s mighty. At times, I seem to have more questions than answers. Yet the one who knows it all loves me, anyway. He’s sees my frustration with others when I feel like I’m being shortchanged or labeled. He knows my struggles with pride, impatience, and apathy.

He sees all of our weaknesses, knows our faults, and still through them all, adores us anyway. He doesn’t need us in his Kingdom. He wants us there.

I look forward to the day when I’ll be the one watching him. It’s then when we all will have the opportunity to thank him for never letting us go, never leaving our side, and always loving us anyway.

Won’t it be grand to finally be able to tell him face to face?

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