Who changed him?

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12, ESV).

  • Counselor: “What seems to be the problem?”
  • Woman: “My husband is not the man I married. He’s changed! And not for the better, either!”
  • Counselor: “How long have you been married?”
  • Woman: “Fifteen years.”
  • Counselor: “And who do you suppose has been the greatest influence, for better or worse, in his life these last fifteen years? If he has changed, as you say, who changed him?”

I don’t think that at the outset of a marriage any one intends to bring her spouse “harm.” Weddings are optimistic affairs, after all, full of good intentions.

An excellent question to ask before getting married is:

“Does this person make me better when I am around him?” An even better question is this: “Do I make him better when he is around me?”

A good relationship is one where each makes the other better. The “worthy woman” of Proverbs is outstanding because her husband’s accomplishments, the respect he has in his community, his character, are largely because of her good influence.

She “brings him good … all the days of her life.”

You will change your spouse; the question is whether you will change him for the better or the worse!


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