Becoming one flesh is the secret to a lasting marriage. God’s design for intimacy and connectedness creates the resilient bond couples seek.
The one flesh concept in Genesis 2:18-25 appears to be a simple matter during the initial passion of the honeymoon. As we are inseparable in these heady days, we cannot imagine being apart. As reality forges its way into our bliss, our marriage becomes a plant that needs to be watered and maintained.
The Christian life is founded in Christ (John 3:16). Faith in him keeps us moving forward (Hebrews 11:6). Humbling ourselves before the mighty hand of God, we become his disciples, submitting to his will (1 Peter 5:6; Mark 8:34-38). Christians must see the world we live in as the playground of Satan and his temptations for what they are (John 8:44; Ephesians 6:10-12). In other words, we see our role in the larger scheme of salvation and the battle against Satan.
These same principles will bring a successful marriage. The one flesh concept is absolutely essential. But, so many couples don’t realize that it cannot be maintained without constant attention.
Successful marriages need a one flesh focus. This must be the backdrop behind all that we do in our marriages. It becomes a lens through which we look at each aspect of our relationship. We live our marriage with a “big picture” mentality.
In our frenzied world, losing focus is to be anticipated. The demands on our attention and time are unprecedented. Couples can live such a hurried existence that they ostensibly become roommates with intermittent flashes of intimacy. Accordingly, we must focus and renew our commitment to one another in these moments with hopes that it will spread to the remainder of our lives.
Marriage is to be the center of the home. Parents, though, can be consumed with the lives of their children and find a yawning chasm in their marriage. While children retain great importance, Mom and Dad must be strong.
Endless numbers of studies have shown that children’s lives are stronger when they feel secure at home. Their parents must project their peace onto their children. Their balance of being there with their children and maintaining the unity of their marriage is a difficult chore, but it was what they accepted by having children.
First, continue to date. If possible, find time to date every week. Even if it is for a inexpensive meal at a local restaurant or a walk in the park. Set apart time to reconnect. The one flesh focus cannot be maintained by inattention to connectedness. When we realize we are distant from our spouse, re-connection should be in order. We need time where we focus on nothing else except our spouses.
Second, stay close to God. Couples must maintain their spiritual lives. If both spouses will stay close to God in word, deed, and prayer, they will remain close to each other. Couples must also periodically study Genesis 2 and Ephesians 5 so God’s plan can be restored in their lives.
Third, couples should make a list of what they love about their spouse so this can be periodically reviewed.
Fourth, take the initiative. We cannot wait for our spouse to take the first step. We need to act first when we realize this disconnectedness.
If we will find the happiness we desire in our marriages, it will only be because we stay focused on God’s plan. No one knows better what we need than the Creator, himself.
Are We Staying Connected In Our Marriages?